Well, There Go My Plans..

...Of Starting a Cat-Powered Sweat Shop.

I can't get the help to stop falling asleep on the job and when they are awake, they won't stop playing with the spools of thread and bobbins.

-Paddy's Mom

Woman, Give Me My Fancy Feast!

Yesterday morning Paddy was getting a little impatient waiting for his daily helping of Fancy Feast.  After trying all his usual tricks for getting fed (scratching the corner of the bed to wake us up, meowing in a very loud and whiny voice, rubbing all over our legs, opening up the door to his food cabinet), Paddy decided to stage a protest.  If I wasn't going to get him his Fancy Feast, then Paddy wasn't going to let me do anything else.  So, he sat on my hand.  

 

Well played Paddy, well played.

-Paddy's Mommy

Who Let the Cats Out?

Yesterday Paddy's Daddy and I stopped at a nearby Walgreen's to check out their after Christmas clearance sale.  While we were waiting in the checkout line, we saw these:

Don't they look a lot like Sylvester and Paddy?

-Paddy's Mommy

Good Morning Human

Sylvester's First Christmas

Yesterday was Sylvester's first Christmas and it almost turned into his last Christmas. 

See this sweet little face?  

You have no idea the terror that such a sweet little face can cause.

On Christmas morning, I woke up around 1:00 am to fill my husband's stocking.  Upon returning to bed, I heard a loud crash and assumed that Sylvester had gotten into my husband's stocking and knocked something down.  I was wrong.  When we woke up later in the morning, we discovered that Sylvester had knocked over a cup of coffee and spilled coffee all over a skein of white yarn and my favorite crochet book.  (I know that Sylvester did it because Paddy was in bed with us when I heard the loud crash.) This would be only the beginning of his one day reign of terror.

Later we were in the kitchen, busily preparing our Christmas feast, when my husband hears a strange scratching sound coming from our sun room.  When we looked to see what the sound was, we found Sylvester digging in a large flower pot.  "Oh no," I thought, "there's only one reason for a cat to be digging in dirt!" I sent my husband to investigate.  When he returned, he said, "It's very stinky out there."  Yes, Sylvester crapped in my flower pot, which was only about 5 feet from his litter box. My sweet husband took the dirt outside and dumped it for me.  

Not long after the poop incident, I pulled my Gruyere Gougères out of the oven and set the on a rack on the counter to cool.  Out of nowhere, Sylvester appears, and before we can stop him, he jumped on the counter and attempted to eat my precious tasty delights!  While I was shrieking in horror, my husband quickly came to my rescue and shooed Sylvester away.  But as he made his escape, Sylvester nearly sent all 20 of my Gougères flying off the counter.  

By this point, Sylvester was treading on very, very thin ice.  Dinner was getting close to being ready and my husband went upstairs to take his shower.  I decided to sit down for a few minutes and catch my breath after a marathon of cooking.  As I walked from the kitchen to the dining room, I caught a glimpse of this, out of the corner of my eye:

Sylvester had knocked down a large planter full of celery, sending dirt flying in a 4 foot radius!  I was just beside myself with anger.  I marched upstairs and found the little ingrate lying in our bed, snoozing on our blanket.  I said a few choice words to Sylvester, which may or may not have included threats of sending him back to the Humane Society.  

We were determined not to let Sylvester ruin our holiday, we had our lovely feast and went to visit some of our family.  We came home from visiting and were quietly sitting and reading some of our Christmas books.  Then, there was a loud noise. We looked over and saw this:

Sylvester had managed to knock down our pine garland, several pine cones, and a candle from our side board.  (We use flameless candles for exactly this reason!)  And thankfully, this was the end of Sylvester's Christmas Reign of Terror.

-Paddy's Mommy

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

...And Not a Creature was Stirring.

Merry Christmas!

With Love,
Paddy and Sylvester

Full Circle

Recently, whilst perusing the Internet, I stumbled upon a picture of Johnny Cash holding an orange tabby kitten.  I was very excited because Johnny Cash and orange tabbies are my two favorite things ON EARTH! After my husband, of course. ;-)

After seeing this picture, I remembered that earlier this year I had been blasting some Johnny Cash on my computer's iTunes, when Paddy McWhiskers hopped up and parked himself next to my laptop.  Of course, being the proud mother that I am, I had to document my kitten's good taste in music with a photograph.

Proof indeed that everything really does come full circle!

 -Paddy's Mommy

Our "Special" Cat

Ever since we got Sylvester a few months ago, we have noticed something about him- 

He's not exactly the brightest bulb in the pack. 

 Maybe all those months he spent starving on the mean streets of Chelsea stunted his intellect.  

Case in point:  The cat door.  

Earlier this year, we installed a cat door so that Paddy could access to the sun room whenever he wanted.   While this cat door allows the cat to access all these delights on demand, but it is slightly tricky for cats to learn to use.  The door has a magnetic closure, so the cats have to give it a good head butt in order for it to open.  Then, while they are going through the door, it begins to close on their hind end, which can be slightly alarming to a cat.  It took our dear, sweet Paddy several weeks to learn how to use the door after we installed it.  But Sylvester has been with us for several months, and still hasn't gotten the hang of it.

We've begun to notice a pattern.

Sylvester goes over to the cat door, paws at it.

And he quickly gives up. Then, Sylvester sits down and begins to look around for the nearest human.  Once said human is spotted, he locks eyes with the human, poses and then makes the saddest kitten face he possibly can.  Like so:

The nearby human is then immediately overcome with feelings of pity towards this dim little creature and proceeds to open the cat door for him.  And that, my friends, is how Sylvester uses his cat door.

-Paddy's Mommy

How Snowflakes are Made...

In case you are wondering, this is how snowflakes are created:

-Paddy's Mom

A Mystery...

This Saturday, my husband and I hosted a neighborhood Christmas party.  The party was at Noon on Saturday, so we tried to get as much done as we could on Friday night, which included cleaning the whole house.  

On Saturday morning we woke up bright and early, and headed downstairs, where I found this on my previously spotless hardwood floor:  

You might be wondering what this icky sticky blob is. 

Well, let me give you the first clue:  

It appears that whomever was involved was either a feline or had a feline accomplice.  

Allow me to present to you a second clue:

Yes, it appears that the Marshmallow Bandit has been at it again!  You see, we planned to have Gingerbread House building station for the kids who came to our Christmas party.  The prior night I had carefully laid out all the decorations in bowls on trays, so that all I would have to do is set them out the next day:

I was careful to cover the trays with cardboard, so as not to tempt any of God's most curious creatures.  However, when I walked into our dining room, I found that the cardboard had been cast aside.  

Thankfully, the Marshmallow Bandit only stole one marshmallow and the Gingerbread House building station was a success!

-Paddy's Mom

A Most Loyal and Faithful Companion!

 In the mornings, Paddy sits on the floor beside my bed and waits as patiently as an orange tabby possibly can for me to wake up.  When I get up, he follows me downstairs and into the kitchen, where I get my cup of coffee.  After that, I like to sit in an armchair in the living room and drink my coffee.  Faithful as they come, Paddy sits perched on this table next to the arm chair and waits for me to finish my coffee.  Isn't he the sweetest little thing? 

-Paddy's Mom

Blue Moon

Blue Moon...

 

 You saw my Sitting Alone...

Without a Dream in my Heart...

Without a Love of My Own.

-Paddy's Mom

An Epicurean in its Purest Form

This cat is an epicurean in its purest form.
He seeks out the finest treats and the most luxurious of comforts-

Dining at Fine Tea Parties:

 
Sleeping on Silk Coverlets:

 
Lounging on Warm Heating Pads:

Yes, it's true that he will occasionally, stoop to the commonplace-

Such as eating lowly grocery store marshmallows:

 

And sleeping in a cardboard box.

Don't worry, 'tis all for show!
Given the chance, he jumps at the opportunity to snuggle up on a hand-crocheted woolen blanket, warmed to precisely 98.6 degrees by his human hand-servant:

He's even training the next generation of epicureans! 

Giddyup!

Nothing to see here, just a cat riding his horse in the land of make-believe. Move on!

-Paddy's Mom

Paddy's New Brother...

We recently got Paddy a new brother from our local Human Society. His name is Sylvester. 

Meet Sylvester:

We plan to train Sylvester to help with the chores around the house.
First task: Loading the dishwasher!

In case you're wondering: Yes, he always has a surprised look on his face!  :-)

-Paddy's Mom

 

What's Paddy's Secret to Looking so Thin?

Spanx, of course! :-)  You don't look an ounce over 12 pounds, Paddy boy!

-Paddy's Mom

No!

No Paddy, we will not feed you!  You are already too big.

-Paddy's Mom

Please Explain...

Dear Trader Joe's,

Can you please explain to me why there is a cat paw in the box of toffee that I purchased from your store?

Sincerely,
A Concerned Customer

-Paddy's Mom